


An Ocean Between Us

by ByAStream



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:09:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25899457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByAStream/pseuds/ByAStream
Summary: Bucky feels you pulling away from him and your relationship reaches a turning point.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	An Ocean Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request!
> 
> Find me on tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com

He wasn’t sure where things went wrong. Maybe he should have said “I love you” more. Maybe he should’ve listened, really listened when you spoke. Paid more attention to what was in front of him. He was losing you, of that he was sure. He wasn’t sure if he had lost you for good. Nights spent showing you how much he loved you had turned into you going to bed with the other side of the bed cold. 

Now he was the one going to bed with the other side cold and empty. You’d been staying up late working. You had a big project you needed to finish. It was time you were spending with Cory. Cory. Bucky hated the sound of that name. It was what had set off the latest fight. He felt jealousy rearing it’s head. He had never been a jealous person, but you brought it out in him. He couldn’t help but compare himself. Cory had a normal job. Cory didn’t have the baggage he did. Cory could give you the world. Bucky couldn’t be what you needed, rather, what he thought you needed. 

Your heart ached. You understood Bucky’s job was unconventional. You knew there would be time apart. Cory was there. You hadn’t cheated, not physically. But you couldn’t deny that you were giving your affection elsewhere. Emotional cheating was still cheating. Guilt weighed on you. You knew you were acting suspicious. Sooner or later, it wouldn’t be Bucky you’d have to worry about but Natasha or Steve. Both of them were protective of Bucky. You didn’t want to feel the wrath of Black Widow and Captain America. You knew you’d have to make a decision. 

Cory was safe. Cory was routine, knowing you could wake up, have coffee together. Cory was knowing you’d go to bed knowing he was safe. Bucky was uncertainty. Bucky was worry. Bucky was the love of your life that you felt yourself pulling away from with no idea how to stop. Bucky was nights full of love when he was there. Mornings of waking up to kisses, to making breakfast together, and making a mess of the kitchen. He was everything you ever wanted. But lately, your head was in conflict with your heart. What do you do when your head says safety but your heart says screw that? When your head says leave but your heart says stay. 

You loved Bucky with every part of you. You were at war with yourself, not wanting to let go, but wondering if it was for the best, for both of you. 

Bucky loved you with every part of himself. He didn’t want to let you go, but he knew you were pulling away. He couldn’t find it in himself to blame you. 

You walked into your shared bedroom close to midnight, exhaustion showing on your face. Your shoulders slumped forwards as you got ready for bed, lost in thought. You sat on the edge of the bed, as if you were trying to decide if you wanted to get in it. Bucky sat up, moving to sit beside you. 

“What happened to us, Buck?” you asked, your voice cutting through the silence. Tears slid down your cheeks silently as you risked a glance toward him.

“I don’t know. I don’t know doll,” he said, wrapping an arm around you. You curled toward his chest, letting out a loud sob. You felt guilty. Guilty for pulling away. Guilty for burying your issues instead of talking about them like an adult, for finding solace in another. You weren’t oblivious to how Cory had looked at you from the day he started working with you. Like a shark in the water, looking for easy prey. And god, were you easy prey, fresh off a fight with Bucky about a mission he’d volunteered to go on after promising you he wouldn’t. In the end, it had been the right call considering he had spotted a tripwire Sam had almost missed in a rush to get out, but in the moment, you had been furious with him. 

You loved Bucky. You saw a future with him. But you couldn’t deny that you had been pulling away. That you had been hurting him far worse than any bullet or knife ever could. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you told him, your voice barely more than a whisper. He shushed you quietly as he held you, kissing the top of your head, before pulling you on his lap fully. You relaxed in his arms. You felt his tears hit your cheek as he rocked you back and forth. No words passed between the two of you. A pang of anxiety ripped through you at the thought of it being the end. You would let him go if it meant he would be happy, if it meant you were no longer hurting him.

You fell asleep clinging to him as if he were the only thing keeping you tethered. The morning arrived to find you tangled together, like you used to before things changed. You let yourself soak in the moment, knowing it could be the last time you wake up in Bucky’s arms. He was awake already when you opened your eyes.

“Morning, sunshine,” he said, his voice soft. You gave him a small smile.

“Morning, sarge,” you replied, bringing a genuine smile to his face. You weren’t expecting the kiss. You forgot the last time you’d kissed him, really kissed him. It was like gasoline being poured on a dying fire, an explosion of emotion poured into one kiss. Regret. Happiness. Sorrow. Love. Anger. All mixed into one kiss. It started slow before Bucky moved with urgency, pulling your shirt over your head, the only time the kiss broke. A tangle of limbs as clothing was shed. 

Bucky wasted no time once he was between your legs. You weren’t surprised to find that you were already soaked. It had been so long since you and Bucky had sex. 

“I’ll make it up to you later,” Bucky said as he thrust his cock into your pussy. You moaned at the feeling, delighting in the stretch that came with having gone so long without him. You pulled him close, wrapping your legs around him, pulling him deeper as he captured your lips in another kiss. You weren’t sure if this was goodbye or hello. In the moment you didn’t care, you just didn’t want it to end. 

Bucky slid a hand between the two of you, finding your clit with a practiced ease. You arched off the bed at the contact. It wasn’t long before he pulled you over the edge. He followed shortly after, spilling into you. He flipped you to have you lay on top of him in the afterglow.

“We still need to talk,” you said. He chuckled.

“Doll, we can talk later, for now, let’s enjoy the moment,” he said, running a hand down your back. You hummed contently. 

It was well past noon when the two of you dragged yourselves to shower and dress. Sitting in the living room of your apartment in the light of day made it more anxiety-inducing.

“I don’t...I don’t want to lose you,” you said.

“I don’t want to lose you either. But doll, I have to say, I feel like I already lost you,” he said. You nodded.

“I know...I know. It...it spiraled. We were fighting more. That mission you went on, where you volunteered to go in place of Wanda because you thought something was off and it turned out there was, that it was a trap to try to take Wanda,” you explained. He nodded as he listened to you speak.

“Go on, doll, I’m listening,” he said, encouraging you to continue.

“Cory started at work that week. And I was so angry. I vented to him at lunch. Like I used to with Grace before she moved on to a new job. Instead of reassuring me...Cory...Cory asked why I was with you. I told him I loved you. That I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if it meant I’d have you in my life. He scoffed at that. Said I was stupid for believing you’d ever do the same. He saw someone who was at a low point and swooped in,” you said. You couldn’t read his expression and that worried you. You sighed before you continued.

“I never...I never slept with him. I would never do that to you, James. Ever. He just...he’d listen. He’d tell me I could do better. He got in my head. I know it was never fair to you. That it was wrong. If I could take it back, I would. But I can’t,” you said. You didn’t often call Bucky by his first name. It was reserved for soft, quiet moments before facing the world. For moments of seriousness, moments of vulnerability. Moments like this. 

“I don’t want to give up on us, doll. Not if I can help it,” he said. You felt the tears prickle at your eyes once more as you nodded. 

“A fresh start?” you asked. He nodded.

“A fresh start,” he agreed. It wouldn’t be easy, but you had faith that it would work out. You both did. He pulled you up, first into a hug, then into a kiss, before pulling you into a dance with no music playing. You let your head rest against his chest, feeling like things would be okay for the first time in a long time. 


End file.
